Day Eight of Blogmas: My Holiday Perfectionism.

Hello, my friends! Happy Sunday to you all! I hope that you had a great weekend, and that this upcoming week is kind to you. I thought that today I would write a post actually related to the holidays. A holiday post for Blogmas. A thing like that!

I saw a picture on Facebook that featured a quote that said something along the lines of, “The first Christmas was a simple one. It’s okay if yours is too.” Try as I might, I can’t seem to find that post again. I apologize in advance for the fact that I probably got the quote wrong AND that I can’t find the origin of the quote. Regardless, I haven’t been able to get that quote out of my head.

I’ve written quite a few blog posts about perfectionism, but it’s something that I consistently struggle with, and the holidays just seem to amplify it.

We’ve added so many extra traditions to Christmas, and while these traditions make the holidays even more fun, they kind of takes us away from the true meaning of Christmas. Instead, we fixate on buying the PERFECT gifts, buying the prettiest outfit for Christmas parties, and decorating our homes, trying to replicate what we see on Pinterest. And while I don’t think that there’s anything inherently wrong with these practices, I know that for me, I get unhealthily fixated on achieving perfection on all areas of the holidays.

One of the silliest parts of the holidays that has always caused me to be insecure is how absolutely TERRIBLE I am at wrapping presents. I’ve always been so bad at it, and I thought it was going to be one of those things that I’d magically be able to do when I got older, but so far… I haven’t gotten there yet.

For this Christmas, I decided to focus my energy instead on wrapping presents using as little waste as possible. I’ve been squirreling away bits of ribbon, cardboard boxes, and gift bags. Whenever someone gives me a present, I packed away the wrapping, knowing that I would get good use of it during the holidays.

I’ve been having a lot of fun wrapping presents this year. I’ve bought absolutely no new wrapping materials, I’ve just been using things that I already have. And I’ll tell you what… they’re not Pinterest-worthy. Not even a little bit. That being said, I’ve been having a blast creating them. I’ve been snipping craft paper, painting old cardboard boxes, and utilizing recycled ribbons for these, spending HOURS working on them.

They’re not perfect, not even a little bit, but I’m hoping that when I give them to my loved ones, they’ll look past their messiness, and instead see the love that went into them.

Even with all of that being said, I still look at the presents that I’ve wrapped, and begin to get embarrassed. What if instead of seeing my DIY wrappings as charming or endearing, they’ll see them as sloppy or hurried?

What if my ugly Christmas sweaters aren’t the right kind of ugly? What if they’re not ironic enough to be purposly ugly, and instead they’re just ugly enough where it looks accidental?

What if my Christmas cookies taste alright, but they look unappetizing, so nobody wants to try them?

What if the presents I choose are silly and eccentric, when I thought they were thoughtful and timeless?

What if, what if, what if.

Why am I twenty-two, still getting embarrassed like I did when I was thirteen?

Why have I turned a holiday that’s supposed to be about Jesus, giving, and family, into a holiday all about me?

This is probably the most vulnerable I’ve felt writing a blog post, but there has to be a reason why I can’t get that quote out of my head. I really felt compelled to share my struggle with all of you, my lovely friends.

This post is also to keep myself accountable. There is still plenty of time left in the season where I can reevaluate and refocus on its true meaning. To become more present, and not get so caught up in my own head, which is a problem I have year-round, but hey, one season at a time…

I know I must not be alone in all of this, so I’m sending all my love to each and every one of you during this holiday season, because I know it can be a rough month for a lot of people.

Thank you so much for reading, my dear friends.


Mattie Mae

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