Engaged Life

Getting Married Young.

Hello, friends! I hope that your week has been going well! Happy Wednesday! So close to the end of the week — yay! As I write this, I have a loaf of banana bread baking in the oven. It’s my first time making it, so I’m hopeful and a tad nervous. Speaking of nervous…

I’ve been wanting to write this post for quite awhile, but to be honest, I’ve been kind of scared. For whatever reason, getting married young seems to be kind of a controversial topic. People tend to be quite shocked when I tell them that I’m engaged. They seem to think that because I’m engaged, I must have my life perfectly together. I don’t understand why they think that. I certainly do not have my life 100% together.

I also see a lot of posts online about how getting married young is a waste of your youth and gosh, I just hate that people think that. I’m not saying that everyone needs to run off and get married at 21, but I don’t understand why people feel the need to try to bring others down. I honestly believe that it has a lot to do with people’s opinions on relationships, which is a blog post in and of itself. I won’t get into that too much, but I think that in general, people seem to be viewing relationships entirely wrong. Relationships and by default, marriage, are wonderful things that can cause those involved to be able to grow together in a really beautiful way.

I am SO excited to get married. I think that it’s so exciting to be able to figure out life with your best friend, and by getting married young, you’re able to naviagte adulthood together. Bobby and I are able to help each other with different things and it’s so wonderful being able to teach one another. I think that bonding during this time of our lives gives us a unique experience that would be different if we had met later on in our lives.

I think that getting married young is also really unique because you’re able to be with your partner as you’re still really getting to know yourself. I suppose that is one reason why people seem to be so scared of it, but the way I see it, as people, we are always changing. We’re never done growing or maturing, so for me, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to wait.

Getting married is a personal choice that I would never dream of trying to force someone into, but I know that for me, it’s the right choice. I’ve always wanted to be married, the idea of having that lifelong partnership with someone is so beautiful and special. I think that it’s important to be with someone who feels the same way you do about marriage. If you’re with someone who has differing opinions on marriage, then the relationship is not good for either of you.

I think that everyone needs to know for themselves what their deal makers and deal breakers are for relationships. Marriage is a big one. I could never see myself being in a relationship with someone whose goal wasn’t marriage. It would be a waste of time for all involved. Bobby and I, however, have always been on the same page. We’ve always been very upfront about our morals and our needs for our relationship. A little extra fun fact: after our first date, I told my aunt Nonie that I could see myself marrying him! ❤

For me, the three most import things are: marriage, children, and religion.

  1. I could never be with someone who didn’t want to get married, as mentioned previously. I know that some people have no desire to get married, which is 100% fine. I just know that for me, marriage is a very important step in a relationship. I don’t think that I would be able to fully be myself if in a relationship where this goal was not shared.
  2. I remember being in first grade when the teacher asked us what we wanted to be, I said that I wanted to be a writer and a mom. I’ve always loved children and I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. I could never be with someone who didn’t also want kids. I know that this is another rather polarizing topic, but for me, my need to be a mother is something that I could never compromise on.
  3. And religon. I know that I’ve always wanted to raise my children in the church. I understand that there are many people in the world who do not follow a religion, and I think it is their choice 100%. I can only speak for myself and I know that I have always wanted to raise my children in the church and I wanted a partner to desire the same.

There are countless ways to spend one’s youth and I will certainly not try to pretend to have all the answers about the best way to spend it. I do know that it is a wildly personal choice, much like marriage. For me, marriage is something that I am so excited for and I’m counting the days down until Bobby and I say “I do!”. That being said, I understand that not everyone agrees with me or feels the same. I’m not here to judge others or try to dictate what people choose to do. All I know is that I stinking can’t wait and am so excited for the rest of my life as a married woman!!!

Thank you so much for reading!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

 

Advertisements
Engaged Life

5 Things to Know when Wedding Dress Shopping.

Hi, friends! I hope that you have had a lovely week! Happy Friday! I’ve had quite a busy week, as the semester is nearing the end. And holy cow, do I have a lot to do. With school, life, and definitely the wedding. Everyone keeps asking me questions about it and for most of them, I have no answers. However, if people ask about my wedding dress, I can gladly say that yes, I have found it!!!

I don’t have it in my hands yet, because I’m still waiting for my size to arrive to Becker’s Bridal, but it has been paid for and everything! Which is such a big weight off my shoulders. I’m so dang excited to be able to try it on and see what it looks like. When I went, they didn’t have my size available, so I had to try on one that was much, much smaller than the size that I wear, so I’m excited to see how it looks!!!

I wish so much that I could post pictures of it on here, but I don’t want Bobby to be able to see it. So, I will have to wait until after the wedding to post pictures of the dress, alas.

Buying your wedding dress is honestly such a strange ordeal. I’ve grown up watching Say Yes to the Dress and definitely have spent a fair amount of time crying during each episode.. I’ve dreamed of the moment my whole life and actually trying on dresses was quite a surreal event.

  1. I think the most important thing about wedding dress shopping is choosing who goes with you. It’s important to make people feel included, but I don’t think you should bring people who will be mean or jealous during it. I think that weddings bring up a lot of emotions in people and sometimes people act in ways that they may not otherwise. Be very careful when choosing who goes with you.
  2. Make sure that you have an appointment! This is something that I definitely ran into when shopping. Most places don’t allow you to just browse the store, so make sure that you have scheduled ahead. Wedding dress shopping probably isn’t something that you want to do on a whim. And going along with my last point, scheduling is a very difficult thing to do. Especially if you have a lot of people interested in going with you. While wedding dress shopping is a wonderful event for you and all who accompany you, at the end of the day, the purpose is to buy a wedding dress. If you’re not able to find a day and time that works for everyone, you may have to choose the day that works best for you. A way you can make everyone feel involved even if they can’t go is to start a group-text and keep them updated. Send them tons of pictures of the dresses, the sashes, veils, and crowns! It will allow everyone to feel more involved, even if they weren’t able to make it!
  3. Make sure you are very upfront with the employee helping you about the prices you feel comfortable with. It’s super easy to get talked into a dress that is far too expensive. How much would it stink if it was way out of your price range and you fell in love with it? So much! I was able to find a dress that was on super sale and was only a little bit more than the price that Bobby and I had agreed upon.
  4. This may be something that is obvious to everyone, but it wasn’t at all obvious to me — having to change in front of the salesperson. I’m a pretty shy person, so this was quite embarrassing for me. It certainly wasn’t my most favorite part of the experience, but the woman who helped me really was lovely and did make me feel quite comfortable!
  5. Another thing that I think is super important to remember is to be nice to yourself when trying on wedding dresses. It’s really easy to feel self-conscious when changing in front of a stranger and let me tell you, I definitely did. Not only that, but there are so many beautiful brides-to-be surrounding you. It’s really hard to not compare yourself to all of them, but it’s so important to not focus on them. I spent the majority of my appointment feeling mad at myself for not looking how I thought I should. And it was very hard to snap out of, but eventually I was able to, with the help of the saleswoman working with me. I doubt that it was her intention, but it helped me to get out of my head and be able to appreciate the beautiful dress I had on me. She told me to close my eyes and to imagine I’m walking down the aisle toward my fiancé, surrounded by my loved ones. That is, of course, what got me to start crying. Just thinking about getting married to Bobby and seeing him in his suit and him seeing me in my dress. Getting married is so much more than looking a certain way and that’s pretty difficult to get your head around.

I hope that my words were able to impact you in some sort of way, even if you’re not getting married. I think that overall, the message I want to convey is that it’s important to keep the big picture in mind. It’s so easy to become fixated on things and to lose sight of what’s important. In this instance, it could be the wedding dress, when the big picture is getting married. Or in college, getting fixated on one assignment, when it’s not the end of the world if you pass or fail. The big picture is the class. And I’m not saying that we should gloss over the little things, I think that they’re super important, but becoming all-consumed with them is not a good thing either. A balance must be found, even if that is much easier said than done. I’m still searching for a balance, haha. 🙂

Thank you so much for reading!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae