A Journey into Self-Love

Salon Thoughts.

Hello, friends! Happy Wednesday to you all!

So, last Saturday I went to the salon to get my hair done, and I had a few thoughts that I thought I would blog about, so here we are! Salon thoughts!

As I waited for my hair to process, I couldn’t help but notice how put-together everyone seemed to look. And not just the hairdressers, but the clients as well. It seemed like everyone had long, acrylic nails, freshly painted toenails, eyelash extensions, and flawless spray tans. And boy, did I feel lacking.

My fingernails were nubs, my nail polish was chipped, the corner of my eyes had eyelashes missing from when I subconsciously picked at my mascara, and I still had my winter skin. And at that moment, getting my hair done didn’t seem enough. I was tempted to ask about hair extensions, acrylic nails, eyebrow waxing, eyelash extensions, and on and on and on. Make me pretty like those other girls!

Ah, comparison.

I suppose with this thought, I just wanted to say that it’s okay to not have all these extra things. There is, of course, nothing wrong with indulging in things that make you feel beautiful, but one can be beautiful without them. Many people were considered beautiful before these things were normalized, and people can still be beautiful without them now.

These additions to one’s appearance have become so normalized that people feel as though they NEED to have them. This is, of course, not the case. There will always be new things that come out to help us “improve” ourselves, and if we get too caught up in all of it, we’ll never be satisfied. And just as we’ll never be happy if we try to keep up with all of these trends, we also will never be happy if we continuously compare ourselves to those who are seemingly perfect.

In my day-to-day life I’m able to go about my day not thinking too much about appearance, but gosh, the salon just brings it out! Not to mention how hideous one feels when they are wearing the black cape that makes your neck look much different than it normally does.

My second thought was about how nice it feels to do something for yourself to add a little extra glamour to your life. I talk about adding glamorous aspects to our lives a lot, but only because I think it is a very overlooked area of life. As hard as it is fighting with ourselves desiring to be pretty, I find that instead, it’s best if I focus on feeling glamorous.

I like to pursue feeling glamorous  instead of beautiful because it puts my focus on more obtainable things. Glamour is unique to us all, it’s what makes us feel vivacious and confident in our own skin.

For me, glamour is more than just our appearance. Glamour is something that makes someone seem appealing, which is often much, much more than appearance. When I think of what makes me feel my most glamorous, it’s when I’m clean, polished, and happy. Glamorous people are kind, and make everyone feel special. They don’t need expensive add-ons to be this way, they just exude it. Their confidence comes from many different things, but it is not all skin-deep. Which isn’t to say that I don’t think someone who enjoys a more luxe lifestyle can’t be glamorous as well. I just think that glamour is a fifty/fifty thing.

It’s okay to have certain physical things give us a bit more confidence. I feel at my best when I’m nicely dressed, my hair is clean, and I’ve been kind to those around me. None of us are perfect, and sometimes we’re not as nice as we could be. I’ll make the leap and say it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing the most expensive clothes and are dressed to the nines, if you have been acting less than kind, you’re going to feel gross and not at all confident.

And for my second thought, which may seem slightly contradictory to my first one… is how important it is to do nice little things for ourself like going to the hair salon.

It can be quite expensive to get your hair done often, but treating yourself to some extra care doesn’t have to be going to the salon. It could be plucking your eyebrows, painting your toenails, or even giving the skin a nice exfoliation. It can be something so small where others may not notice it, but it could be just enough to give you a little pep in your step.

I know that it’s so hard to find time and energy to spend on our appearance when we live such busy lives, but I think that it’s SO important. I know that the more care I put into my appearance, the more me I feel.

I suppose my overall takeaway for this post is that it’s important to take care of our body and to do things that make us feel confident, but that doesn’t mean we have to do ALL the things. We’re allowed to pick and choose the things we want to do, and figure out what works for us. Maybe we don’t dye our hair, we instead prefer to get our nails done, or some may want to do both. And some people may not want to do any of them! And that’s okay, too! If that is the case, find something else you can do to add some extra glamour and shimmer to your life. Maybe a nice smelling lotion, or even a new shampoo. Just something little (or big) that you can add to your life to make it feel a bit more exciting and extravagant.

I really hope that y’all understand what I’m trying to say! I understand that I have a tendency to be all over the place when I write these posts. I blame it on the fact my brain has a lot of thoughts and I’m too slow of a typer to properly articulate all of them. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

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Musings

Why We Need to Stop Romanticizing Being Perpetually Busy.

Hi, friends! I hope that y’all are doing well. Today’s blog post is a little different, I suppose. I don’t really know where I want to end up with it, but I’ll start here: I don’t think it’s healthy for anybody to be busy all the time. But it’s something that we seem to treat positively, as though it’s admirable or something to strive for. I think it’s admirable, but I don’t think it’s something to strive for. I applaud every hard-worker out there, and respect them endlessly, I just worry about society forcing busyness onto people.

I think that it’s so profoundly sad that we live in a world where we feel the need to always be busy. I know it’s something that I struggle with. I began to make it part of my identity. I would, in a very strange way, brag about always being busy, as if it made me worth more than I would if I was busy a healthy amount. I think we’re too focused on moving forward, moving forward, moving forward. We seldom let ourselves just be.

I feel as though there are going to be some people that disagree with me on this, and that’s okay. I just really feel like I needed to speak my opinion on the matter. We’re only human, we need time to recharge. I used to work and/or go to class every single day, week after week, month after month. I was miserable. I didn’t have any time to charge, but I would still brag about it, in the strangest sort of way. I don’t know why. Maybe I thought people would think I was a better person, somehow? That’s probably what it was. Which still makes no sense.

Sunday’s are supposed to be a day of relaxation and reflection, but how often do they turn into a day where you try to get your whole entire life together? For me, it’s more often than not. I make myself lists, long, long lists, that are absolutely impossible to finish in a day. I’ve been trying so hard not to do this anymore. Lately, I have been making a list of five things per day. Generally, it has one or two schoolwork things that HAVE to get done, a household chore, and then a couple self-care activities. An example would be:

To-Do List

1.Turn in annotated bibliography.

2. Do dishes.

3.Take meds.

4.Take shower.

5.Post blog.

I think it’s important to have some items on the list that are fairly simple, so that you can feel some accomplishment in your day. Before, I was putting so much difficult stuff on my lists that I would go days without being able to check anything off. And let me tell you, it’s not going to motivate you whatsoever.

Finding the balance is so dang hard, and I’m still trying to find a balance in my life. It’s very hard to do, but I suppose it’s something that we all just need to keep working on. We must continue (or start) listening to our bodies and our minds, so that we know what we’re capable of. And it’s extra important to be honest with yourself about this. Whether it be realizing that you need to do more work, or whether it be you realizing you need to do less work. Everyone is different and we need to accept this. The amount we can get done in a day is different. I’ve always been pretty slow and things take me so long to do. I move at a slow pace and therefore get things done at a slower pace. But hey, they’re still getting done, right?

We need to quit worrying so much about what we should be able to do, and instead, focus on what it is that we can do.

Thank you so much for reading, friends. I appreciate the fact that I can send my words out on the internet and they can reach so many people. Much more effective than a message in a bottle. Although not quite as cool, I must admit.

XOXO,

Mattie Mae