A Journey into Self-Love

Salon Thoughts.

Hello, friends! Happy Wednesday to you all!

So, last Saturday I went to the salon to get my hair done, and I had a few thoughts that I thought I would blog about, so here we are! Salon thoughts!

As I waited for my hair to process, I couldn’t help but notice how put-together everyone seemed to look. And not just the hairdressers, but the clients as well. It seemed like everyone had long, acrylic nails, freshly painted toenails, eyelash extensions, and flawless spray tans. And boy, did I feel lacking.

My fingernails were nubs, my nail polish was chipped, the corner of my eyes had eyelashes missing from when I subconsciously picked at my mascara, and I still had my winter skin. And at that moment, getting my hair done didn’t seem enough. I was tempted to ask about hair extensions, acrylic nails, eyebrow waxing, eyelash extensions, and on and on and on. Make me pretty like those other girls!

Ah, comparison.

I suppose with this thought, I just wanted to say that it’s okay to not have all these extra things. There is, of course, nothing wrong with indulging in things that make you feel beautiful, but one can be beautiful without them. Many people were considered beautiful before these things were normalized, and people can still be beautiful without them now.

These additions to one’s appearance have become so normalized that people feel as though they NEED to have them. This is, of course, not the case. There will always be new things that come out to help us “improve” ourselves, and if we get too caught up in all of it, we’ll never be satisfied. And just as we’ll never be happy if we try to keep up with all of these trends, we also will never be happy if we continuously compare ourselves to those who are seemingly perfect.

In my day-to-day life I’m able to go about my day not thinking too much about appearance, but gosh, the salon just brings it out! Not to mention how hideous one feels when they are wearing the black cape that makes your neck look much different than it normally does.

My second thought was about how nice it feels to do something for yourself to add a little extra glamour to your life. I talk about adding glamorous aspects to our lives a lot, but only because I think it is a very overlooked area of life. As hard as it is fighting with ourselves desiring to be pretty, I find that instead, it’s best if I focus on feeling glamorous.

I like to pursue feeling glamorous  instead of beautiful because it puts my focus on more obtainable things. Glamour is unique to us all, it’s what makes us feel vivacious and confident in our own skin.

For me, glamour is more than just our appearance. Glamour is something that makes someone seem appealing, which is often much, much more than appearance. When I think of what makes me feel my most glamorous, it’s when I’m clean, polished, and happy. Glamorous people are kind, and make everyone feel special. They don’t need expensive add-ons to be this way, they just exude it. Their confidence comes from many different things, but it is not all skin-deep. Which isn’t to say that I don’t think someone who enjoys a more luxe lifestyle can’t be glamorous as well. I just think that glamour is a fifty/fifty thing.

It’s okay to have certain physical things give us a bit more confidence. I feel at my best when I’m nicely dressed, my hair is clean, and I’ve been kind to those around me. None of us are perfect, and sometimes we’re not as nice as we could be. I’ll make the leap and say it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing the most expensive clothes and are dressed to the nines, if you have been acting less than kind, you’re going to feel gross and not at all confident.

And for my second thought, which may seem slightly contradictory to my first one… is how important it is to do nice little things for ourself like going to the hair salon.

It can be quite expensive to get your hair done often, but treating yourself to some extra care doesn’t have to be going to the salon. It could be plucking your eyebrows, painting your toenails, or even giving the skin a nice exfoliation. It can be something so small where others may not notice it, but it could be just enough to give you a little pep in your step.

I know that it’s so hard to find time and energy to spend on our appearance when we live such busy lives, but I think that it’s SO important. I know that the more care I put into my appearance, the more me I feel.

I suppose my overall takeaway for this post is that it’s important to take care of our body and to do things that make us feel confident, but that doesn’t mean we have to do ALL the things. We’re allowed to pick and choose the things we want to do, and figure out what works for us. Maybe we don’t dye our hair, we instead prefer to get our nails done, or some may want to do both. And some people may not want to do any of them! And that’s okay, too! If that is the case, find something else you can do to add some extra glamour and shimmer to your life. Maybe a nice smelling lotion, or even a new shampoo. Just something little (or big) that you can add to your life to make it feel a bit more exciting and extravagant.

I really hope that y’all understand what I’m trying to say! I understand that I have a tendency to be all over the place when I write these posts. I blame it on the fact my brain has a lot of thoughts and I’m too slow of a typer to properly articulate all of them. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

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A Journey into Self-Love

Putting on my Face: My Everyday Skincare and Makeup Routine.

Hello, friends! Happy Wednesday! I wanted to continue our little head-to-toe journey. I started out with clothing and I wanted to do skincare and makeup next! I hope y’all enjoy! And please, let me know some of your favorite makeup brands and tips!

I will say upfront that I am an Amazon associate and as such, I will earn money from qualifying purchases, with no extra charge to you!  That being said, I am not here AT ALL to try and force products on you. I just wanted to show what I use in case you guys were in the market for new products. I also wanted to share some tricks that I’ve learned from my time wearing makeup.

Makeup is something that seems to cause a lot of divide. I want to say first and foremost that I don’t think that one needs makeup to be or feel beautiful. And some people do not feel confident with makeup on and that is absolutely fine. It’s totally your choice. Do what makes you feel happy and confident.

For this little post, I wanted to detail not only the products that I use, but how I use them.

Rose hip oil

Rose hip oil is something that I’ve only recently started using. I’ve seen so many people online using it and I wanted to try it so badly. I always thought that I had oily skin, but as I get older, I’m realizing that my skin is more dry than anything. Especially this past winter, it got so bad. I hated it, because when I put makeup on, my under-eyes and even my eyelids were all wrinkly and dried out. This has been something that has been SO helpful. I’ve been trying to stay extra hydrated so my skin doesn’t get that bad again. The bottle also says that it’s meant to fight wrinkles and fine lines. It also says that it helps with the appearance of scars. And I’m such a sucker for packaging, I hate to say it. The bottle is so cute with the dropper and  little roses it has in it! One feels extra glamorous when using this.

Pond’s Cold Cream

After I’ve let the rose hip oil melt into my skin, I’ll moisturize with the Pond’s. It is very moisturizing and also so good for sensitive skin. My skin for the past six months has been reacting to almost every makeup and skincare product. I tried out a new moisturizer and was broken out on my cheekbone for about a month. I’m already on my second little container of the Pond’s and my skin is so thankful. It’s so exciting being able to find out products that work for you. I’m such a picky person when it comes to such things, I want to keep trying new products until I find the most magical product. This Pond’s might just be it. I will say that after you put the cold cream on, you will want to take quite awhile before putting on your makeup, otherwise it’ll all just slide off. Unless you’re using it for a makeup remover, which it also does, quite well! I use the rose hip oil and the Pond’s twice a day, in the morning before putting my makeup on, and then right before I go to bed. My skin has never been softer!

Highlight/Blush

I’ve been using this same highlight for around a year now. The same exact one, it hasn’t run out yet! I know that you’re supposed to change them out every so often, but I just keep them until they absolutely run out… I still have so much left! And it’s so cheap! It’s meant to be a highlight, but I use it as a blush. I love wearing a lot of brush and tend to go a bit overboard on it. I put it on where you would put blush and where you would put bronzer, because I don’t really think bronzer suits me. I also make sure to add a little extra on my nose because I think that is so dang cute! I like that putting on blush acts as a somewhat more subtle contour. It also adds a bit more color into the cheeks, which is especially nice when you’re as pale as I am.

Foundation

I have just started using this foundation. Before this one, I had used the Too Faced: Born this Way foundation. I really like that this one contains SPF in it, because as someone who is quite pale, I burn VERY easily. I like a very natural coverage, and I find this foundation really does wonders. I usually apply foundation more like a concealer than an all-over foundation. I make sure to focus it on my eyelids, my under-eye circles, and any spots that need any extra lovin’. I generally like keeping my face very natural and letting some freckles peak through. I feel more me when my skin isn’t totally flawless. However, I must say, I do love having some extra help with my eye-bags, ha! I definitely recommend going to a makeup counter to find the perfect foundation match. Try as I might, I can’t seem to be able to match my foundation on my own. I’ve ended up with many bottles of foundation that do me absolutely no wonders. You also end up using so much more product if it doesn’t perfectly match because you have to drag it all over your neck/any other part that doesn’t match.

Blush brush

I’m not a fancy makeup guru or anything, so I use this sculpting brush for a little bit of everything. I use it for foundation, blush, and also on the rare occasions I use bronzer or highlighter. I think this brush is a super great one because it is useful for so many different purposes. I prefer putting on foundation with my hands, so this is really the only face brush that I use. I know that may be slightly controversial, but I find that my hands work in product better! It’s really important to have a brush that’s soft, because otherwise, when applying blush to your face, you’ll end up wiping off all your foundation. Also, it sure as heck doesn’t feel good using scratchy brushes!

Mascara 

This brand was sold where I used to work and I really grew to love it. It’s certainly not going to give you the longest or thickest lashes, but I really love the natural look it gives. I’ve always preferred a black mascara as opposed to a lighter one. I know that some people really love a brown mascara because it matches better with their eyelashes and eyebrows. Again, it all depends on personal preference! I also curl my lashes most days, making sure to be extra careful not to rip out any. It never gets any less scary!

Brow pencil

My eyebrows and I have been through thick and thin — literally. They’ve been good, they’ve been bad, and they’ve certainly been ugly. They’re quite dark and thick naturally. I keep them fairly natural, I pluck the middle of them and I also pluck any stragglers that may be around. Finding the brow shape that we feel best in is such an important thing. I know that when my brows are unkempt, I feel unkempt as well. My brows are naturally quite dark so I don’t fill them in too much, mostly just the tail of them. My eyebrows are also quite thick, but for whatever reason, they’re not terribly long. So I draw them on to be a bit longer as well. I’m not an expert by any means! Nor do I spend much time on them!

Lipstick 

For those that knew me in high school, they’ll remember my red lipstick days. I still love me a good red lipstick every once in awhile, but now I lean towards something more natural. I really like pink for lipstick, something that’s just a shade or two different than my natural lip color, be it lighter or be it darker. I really like this lipstick because it feels extra moisturizing. I’m such an obsessive chapstick user that this is super helpful to me. I like to have a chapstick in pretty much every room of my apartment. If I want to get extra fancy, I’ll go for a red but this is perfect for my everyday makeup. When I want a super duper natural look, I’ll apply lipstick, then put on chapstick over it, and then blot that off. 

Eyeshadow brush

Again, I am not fancy at all when it comes to makeup, so I use this brush for all my eyeshadow looks. I just make sure that my brushes are soft enough that they don’t disrupt all my makeup that’s on my skin. I also make sure to wipe them off in-between colors so I don’t end up with a huge mess on my eyelids!

Eyeshadow 

As I’ve said probably a million times, I like my makeup to be quite natural. Which is quite a change from how I used to be. I used to not be caught dead without heavy eyeliner and red lipstick. Which is so funny because now whenever I put eyeliner on, I feel as though it doesn’t suit me at all! Which is why I tend to stick to eyeshadow if I’m feeling like adding a little something extra. If I wear eyeshadow I usually stick with a dark brown in the crease and a lighter color on the lid. I like beige or glitter for the lid. Usually a light gold one works best for me. I like choosing colors that make my eyes pop. I have blue-green eyes, so I like browns, golds, and even sometimes a purple. I remember going to the Clinique makeup counter the summer before I went into seventh grade and the woman put purple eyeshadow on me and I was so amazed at how green my eyes looked. Everyone can wear whatever eyeshadow color they want, but if you want your eyes really to pop, look towards the color wheel!

Powder

Another case of, “WOW! This packaging is adorable.” It works so amazing though. I like this one in particular because it has a slight purple tint in it which helps with lightening the under-eyes. I used to use powder on the entire face because I was worried about getting oily, but nowadays I only put powder on the places I feel really need it, my eyelids, my under-eyes, around the nose, and my chin. Otherwise, I just let my skin hang out and do what it wants. And let me tell you, it feel so much better than putting tons and tons of powder around my face. Again, some may feel differently! Which is okay! Makeup is a wonderful way to express ourselves!

 

Another little tip that I have is to look towards your family. You may not have family that look 100% like you, but it can often be quite helpful. For example, I look to my mom for makeup inspiration. She is naturally much more tan than I am, but we have similar eye color so I take inspiration from her eye looks. She’ll use some dark green eyeliner on her eyes and it looks quite striking. I’ve tried it a couple times on myself and I really enjoy it!

Makeup can be a great thing to play with, and some people get SO creative with it! I love scrolling through Instagram to see what looks people are able to come up with. I may not be quite at that level (YET!) but I enjoy makeup all the same!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

 

A Journey into Self-Love · Uncategorized

5 Ways to Add a Little Bit of Glamour to our Lives.

Hello, friends! I hope that you are having a lovely Friday thus far! It is FINALLY the weekend! This week was seemingly never ending, oh my goodness.

We may not have the time or the money to live quite as glamoursly as we’d like to, but there are many small things we can do to glam up our everyday life. I wanted to write a blog post dedicated to this!

1.Personal Grooming. Its about impossible for me to feel even remotely glamorous if I’m unkept. Some of the things I do in terms of grooming are: showering, shaving, moisturizing, clipping my nails, painting my nails, plucking my eyebrows, and making sure my face is clean and free of leftover makeup.

2. Hair. On a day-to-day basis, I brush my hair and go, but this blog post is not about that, it’s about adding glamour to our lives. So, I will generally put my hair in curlers if I’m feeling extra fancy. It’s great because you can put your curlers in your wet hair, do everything else on your list and when you take them out, BAM, beautiful movie starlet hair.

3. Makeup. Once again, I do not wear makeup every single day. This makes it all the more special when I do. You can add a little extra oomph to your look by adding a some thicker eyeliner, a brighter lipstick, or maybe a glitter eyeshadow.

4. Smelly smells. I recommend some yummy smelling lotion for your moisturizing, but make sure it’s not breaking you out! From someone with very sensitive skin, there’s nothing that feels less glamorous than breaking out or getting rashes from your lotion. Another thing in this category is perfume. I think that perfume is worth a little splurge. I don’t use mine every day, so that when I do, I feel extra glamorous and put together.

5. Clothes. Everybody has different clothing items they feel the most confident in. Heck, even a pair of matching jammies could work. The most important things for clothing would be what makes you feel confident and what makes you feel comfortable. You could be wearing a dress that costs hundreds of dollars, but if it didn’t fit right, you’d still feel uncomfortable in it. You could just as easily feel your best in a dress from Goodwill that cost $5.00. Glamour truly comes from within, but sometimes the physical things help it manifest itself.

Thank you so much for reading, friends! I hope that you enjoyed this post. I know it’s a little different than what I usually post, but I enjoyed writing it all the same! 🙂

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

Musings

Why We Need to Stop Romanticizing Being Perpetually Busy.

Hi, friends! I hope that y’all are doing well. Today’s blog post is a little different, I suppose. I don’t really know where I want to end up with it, but I’ll start here: I don’t think it’s healthy for anybody to be busy all the time. But it’s something that we seem to treat positively, as though it’s admirable or something to strive for. I think it’s admirable, but I don’t think it’s something to strive for. I applaud every hard-worker out there, and respect them endlessly, I just worry about society forcing busyness onto people.

I think that it’s so profoundly sad that we live in a world where we feel the need to always be busy. I know it’s something that I struggle with. I began to make it part of my identity. I would, in a very strange way, brag about always being busy, as if it made me worth more than I would if I was busy a healthy amount. I think we’re too focused on moving forward, moving forward, moving forward. We seldom let ourselves just be.

I feel as though there are going to be some people that disagree with me on this, and that’s okay. I just really feel like I needed to speak my opinion on the matter. We’re only human, we need time to recharge. I used to work and/or go to class every single day, week after week, month after month. I was miserable. I didn’t have any time to charge, but I would still brag about it, in the strangest sort of way. I don’t know why. Maybe I thought people would think I was a better person, somehow? That’s probably what it was. Which still makes no sense.

Sunday’s are supposed to be a day of relaxation and reflection, but how often do they turn into a day where you try to get your whole entire life together? For me, it’s more often than not. I make myself lists, long, long lists, that are absolutely impossible to finish in a day. I’ve been trying so hard not to do this anymore. Lately, I have been making a list of five things per day. Generally, it has one or two schoolwork things that HAVE to get done, a household chore, and then a couple self-care activities. An example would be:

To-Do List

1.Turn in annotated bibliography.

2. Do dishes.

3.Take meds.

4.Take shower.

5.Post blog.

I think it’s important to have some items on the list that are fairly simple, so that you can feel some accomplishment in your day. Before, I was putting so much difficult stuff on my lists that I would go days without being able to check anything off. And let me tell you, it’s not going to motivate you whatsoever.

Finding the balance is so dang hard, and I’m still trying to find a balance in my life. It’s very hard to do, but I suppose it’s something that we all just need to keep working on. We must continue (or start) listening to our bodies and our minds, so that we know what we’re capable of. And it’s extra important to be honest with yourself about this. Whether it be realizing that you need to do more work, or whether it be you realizing you need to do less work. Everyone is different and we need to accept this. The amount we can get done in a day is different. I’ve always been pretty slow and things take me so long to do. I move at a slow pace and therefore get things done at a slower pace. But hey, they’re still getting done, right?

We need to quit worrying so much about what we should be able to do, and instead, focus on what it is that we can do.

Thank you so much for reading, friends. I appreciate the fact that I can send my words out on the internet and they can reach so many people. Much more effective than a message in a bottle. Although not quite as cool, I must admit.

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

A Journey into Self-Love · OOTD

A Casual OOTD Paired with Thoughts on Self-Love.

Hello, friends! Happy Monday! I hope that your week is going well so far and that you had a great weekend! My Monday is off to a great start, I’ve had my morning coffee, I went to Qdoba for lunch with Bobby, and I am wearing a super cute outfit!

It’s only early afternoon, but I’ve been feeling so confident all day. It’s amazing what a cute outfit can do for you! So, I wanted to make an OOTD blog featuring it. And as usual, I had Bobby take the pictures. I stared at the photos while editing, not completely hating them, but not 100% loving them either. I stared at my legs. Bullying myself and asking myself, “Why have you been feeling confident? You look short and chubby in those pants.” But I’ve decided to post these pictures anyway. I like this outfit, I think it’s cute. I feel cute in it, too. Why should I let a couple of pictures change my confidence? Am I exactly where I’d like to be, weight-wise? No. I could definitely be doing more to live a healthy lifestyle. But I am where I am. There’s no reason that I shouldn’t still love myself. I’m worthy of my own love. So, without further ado, here is my OOTD post!

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Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Jean Jacket: TJ Maxx

T-shirt: TJ Maxx

Pants: TJ Maxx

Shoes: Kohl’s

Thank you so much for reading, friends! I hope that this post inspired you, be it fashion, or be it body-positivity. I also hope that your week is going great so far, and I want to remind  you that self-love is SO important, and that each and every person in the world deserves to love themselves. That includes YOU!

Thank you so much for reading!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

 

Intentions for 2019

Intentions for 2019

Hi, y’all! Can you believe it? It’s 2019! I’ve decided that this year, I want to have an intention for the year as opposed to a long list of resolutions. In 2019 I want to live life the best as I can. With this intention comes the question: how the heck will I accomplish this?

  1. I want to compliment people more often. So often I have something I want to tell someone, say, a stranger I see with the most killer scarf on. Sometimes I muster up the courage to say, “Oh my gosh! I love your scarf!”, but oftentimes I get too nervous and say nothing instead.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much more outgoing, but inside of me is still the very shy girl who was too scared to order ice-cream at Dairy Queen and would make my younger brother do it for me. I also have a terrible habit of isolating myself, especially in the classroom. I see people making friends in classes, something that I’ve never been able to do. That shy girl is still inside of me, worried that they won’t like me. I’m 21 years old and I still feel like a little girl when it comes to socializing. I want to put myself out there! I want to be less scared. With this, I am going to try to compliment at least one person a day, and/or initiating conversation with someone in my class, even if it makes me terribly nervous
  2. I want to get out of my apartment more often. Between work and class, I feel as though I’m never home. However, that is not the case. If I’m not at work or school, then I’m in my tiny apartment with the one lone window. And don’t get me wrong, I love my apartment. My friend Tenley recently helped me organize it, and it looks and feels SO much better. That being said, it is quite small and I do get quite a case of cabin fever sometimes. This can be alleviated by going for a walk or doing some yoga, but once I get in the cabin fever funk, it’s hard to snap out of it. But I work on that. These activities refresh me completely, but my brain gets convinced that they are impossible to accomplish, which is really not true. Get out of the house, Mattie! It’s so good for you!
  3. Stop getting so much happiness from material possessions.  I mean, I get it, stuff is great. And I like stuff. But I’ve been thinking lately about how much happiness we put into receiving things. And how short-lived that happiness is. It’s really quite sad, and also quite detrimental to our mental-health. When Tenley and I purged my apartment of bag after bag of clothes and knick-knacks, I could feel myself getting lighter. And sure, there are a few things I still want to acquire for my wardrobe and my apartment, but I am trying my hardest not to buy things that are not practical, or things that I don’t absolutely love. If you’re thinking of purchasing something, you need to remember that you will never love something more than when you’re in the store. So often I would buy clothes that I sort of liked because they were cheap, and after that, all they would do is sit in my closet, unworn. I’m trying to get rid of things that I don’t absolutely love or use anymore. I am a big fan of knick knacks, but the fact of the matter is, they get dusty and forgotten about in my apartment. Some I love and will never get rid of, and some, after the initial sting, I was able to get rid of them and feel totally fine about it. If you can get rid of something that easily, perhaps it’s best to get rid of it.
  4. Stay on top of grooming and self-care. I have the hardest time keeping up on all my self-care in the winter, it’s probably because all I want to do is cocoon in bed. Sometimes it makes mustering up the courage to shower a little difficult. But showering is, of course, very important. And once I do it, I feel so refreshed. Same goes for simple things like plucking my eyebrows or painting my fingernails. These are such little things that I can do to make myself feel more put together and as a result, i tend to feel a little bit better and more motivated.
  5. Allow myself to enjoy resting time. I am a person who is generally pretty busy. And I have such a difficult time relaxing. If I’m watching TV, I’m thinking of the million things that I still need to get done, and what I should be doing instead. I don’t think that’s a healthy way to be though. I think that we all need to take time to do nothing and allow that nothing to recharge us. We may be getting things done if we’re constantly in motion, but we’re seriously negeclting ourselves and our own well-being which is way more important.

Hope you guys are having a wonderful 2019 so far! What sort of resolutions/intentions do y’all have the year?

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

A Journey into Self-Love

A Journey into Self-Love

Hi, friends! Happy Saturday! Hope your week was good and that your weekend will be even better! Especially those in college with finals! My finals are next week! EEP!

Today I wanted to talk about self-confidence. Which is something, admittedly, I’ve been struggling with something fierce lately. Unfortunately, I’m sure that many people can relate to this. I think that when people think of self-confidence, they automatically think of one’s perception of their own looks. But it’s really so much more than that.

One issue that I have with self-confidence is the feeling that I am, singlehandedly, the most mean, most evil person in the whole world. Logically, I know that this isn’t the case. This is probably one of the reasons I find it so hard to say no to people. I’m convinced that if I say no to someone that it will ruin their life and in turn, they will think I’m the worst person to exist. Again, logically, I know that this isn’t true. But, alas.

Is there a solution? Well, I’m working on finding one. I’m sure that everyone can relate to this, and I wish that I had a concrete answer, but, as usual, I do not. What I can say is that all we can do is our best. Do our best to show kindness to others, but not at the expense of our own sanity and well-being. Odds are, saying no will not ruin somebody’s life, and it will make you feel much, much, better if you do. Something that I’ve always liked is the idea that we cannot pour from an empty cup. We cannot give to others if we’re not giving to ourselves.

Something that I did for the first time the other day was give myself a positive affirmation while looking at myself in the mirror. I think it’s something that I want to add to my everyday routine. I can definitely see it becoming a helpful thing. My lovely friend Rosie told me about the concept, and I thoroughly suggest it. It’s really simple. You look into the mirror and tell yourself whatever it is that you need to hear. For me, I like to say, “I am a kind person. I am doing my best. I am loved. Not only am I loved, but I am worthy of love.” Of course it can change day-to-day, depending on what you need at that time, but I really think it’s a lovely thing to do.

Remember, friends. We are all doing the best that we can do. And that’s all that we can do. Self-love doesn’t come easily, nor does it come quick. It’s a lifelong process, and we need to be patient with ourselves. We deserve to like and love ourselves.

Thank you for reading!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

 

Musings

21 Things I’ve Learned by 21

Hello, friends! I hope that you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend, surrounded by those that you’re thankful for. If not that, then I hope that you ate lots of yummy food. Over the Thanksgiving weekend I had my 21st birthday! Woo! And I wanted to share some wisdom. Enjoy! 🙂

  1. It’s okay to like things that other people don’t. I spent a lot of my childhood for liking movies, books, and music that nobody else did. On the other side of the coin, though…
  2. It’s okay to like things that other people like. For anyone that knows me, they know that I went through a horrendous hipster phase where I refused to like things that were popular, and loved to hate on things that other people liked. I have since gotten over that, and I simply like the things that I like.
  3. Learn the importance of a good night’s sleep. I, like many people, have always had a hard time getting to sleep at a decent hour/ staying asleep. I still struggle with it quite often, but I’ve gotten SO much better at going to sleep at a decent hour. Where I used to go to sleep at 3 AM, I now go to sleep closer to 10, at the latest, 11. It does wonders.
  4. When sleep fails… Coffee…Coffee…Coffee. Now, listen. I love coffee dearly, but I do understand that it’s not always the best for you. I definitely would recommend weaning yourself off of it if you find yourself drinking it too much, but gosh, is it good for a little extra awareness.
  5. Make your own coffee! Speaking of coffee…I love me a professionally made coffee like no other, but I try desperately to instead make my coffee at home. If you haven’t invested in some sort of coffee maker, I definitely would recommend it. You will save SO much money by doing so. And if you forget to make it some days, that’s okay too. It’s all about balance…
  6. Always carry food with you. I don’t know about y’all, but when I get hungry, things get bad. I am notorious amongst my family for getting all sort of hungry. (hungry + angry = hangry) This tip is especially applicable if you’re in college. I always find myself rushing to class, unable to get myself lunch. I usually try to keep granola bars in my backpack at all times to sustain me until I can make myself a proper meal.
  7. Pick a college major that makes YOU happy. I understand that the goal of obtaining a college degree is essentially to become more employable. But HEAR ME OUT. How successful can you be at something you have no interest in? Okay, yes, you can be successful, but at what cost? And to counteract the argument of, “Well, what are you going to do with that major?” a lot of places just want people with college degrees!
  8. Also, college isn’t for everyone. I know so many people that did not go to college, and they are doing just fine. Don’t go into debt just because college is something that you’re “supposed” to do. Listen to what you think is right.
  9. Weight does NOT determine your happiness. I’ve been smaller, I’ve been bigger, and equally happy and/or miserable at either stage. It’s important to be healthy, yes, but small doesn’t inherently equal healthy, and large doesn’t inherently equal unhealthy.
  10. Go for a walk!  While it’s true that going for a walk may not fix the problem(s) at hand, it really can change your perspective. There have been times that I was so depressed that even the idea of getting out of bed was painful, but once I got outside I did feel better. Not all the way better, but it was definitely worthwhile to get outside. It also gives you a feeling of accomplishment when you may feel like you haven’t accomplished anything.
  11. There is NOTHING, and I repeat, NOTHING wrong with therapy.  For practically my entire life, I was SO opposed to therapy. My mom wanted me to go and I would go for a session or two and then completely check out. I was embarrassed, I didn’t think it would work, and I wasn’t ready to look within. Eventually, I overcame that way of thinking, and allowed myself to participate and therapy, and I was able to greatly help my mental health in the process.
  12. There is nothing shameful about taking antidepressants. In addition to therapy, I was adamantly opposed to taking any sort of medication.  Just like therapy, I was able to overcome that way of thinking and eventually allowed myself to be on a medicine that helped me get out of bed every morning. The same applies for any sort of medication that you are prescribed. There is no shame in it.
  13. Keep a journal. I have kept a journal my entire life, and while it’s sometimes embarrassing to look back at what you thought or felt, it’s a wonderful way to track your progress. It’s also wonderful because it helps you relive memories that you may have forgotten. I have so many wonderful family memories written down that I would have otherwise forgotten. Not to mention, journaling is a great way to vent.
  14. Allow yourself to be bad at things. I think I’ve said this in another blog post, but I have such a difficult time sticking with things if I am not initially perfect at them. This is not a good thing. It is SO important to allow yourself to be bad at things so that you can grow and progress with it.
  15. Find a creative outlet. I think that something that we don’t make time for in our day to day life is creativity. We don’t allow that part of our brain to thrive, when we really should. Creativity is such a wonderful thing, and can be expressed through so many mediums: music, writing, drawing, painting, baking, photography, scrapbooking, woodwork, to name a few. I understand that it’s sometimes hard to make time, but I recommend making time for this.
  16. When in doubt, make a to-do list. I know that I’ve talked about my love for lists in at least one other blog post, but they are always my first step to getting my life in control.
  17. Technology is awesome, but make sure you’re spending some time without a screen.  I am definitely addicted to my phone, but I make an effort to spend time away from my phone, my laptop, and my tv. This is paired very well with #15.
  18. Let yourself be excited about things! There are some things that you will be excited for that others might not be. That’s okay! Let yourself be excited about them! Don’t let other people dull your excitement.
  19. Hydrate, moisturize, and exfoliate! This tip is mainly about hygiene, and can include other things, but those three are some of the most important. When I was in my most depressed state, I found these sort of things so difficult. Sometimes I still do. This kind of goes along with #10. Choose one thing for the day that you want to accomplish in terms of hygiene and do it! Something is better than nothing.
  20. PRAY! Sometimes life gets so overwhelming that you just sit there, unable to do anything about it. In these moments, I like to pray. I let my fears, my hopes, and my needs out. There’s something immediately freeing about doing this.
  21. BE SAFE ON YOUR TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY!  I’m not much for going out, but if you are, make sure you are safe on your 21st birthday! Stay hydrated, stay with people that will keep you safe, and, of course, have fun!!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae