A Journey into Self-Love

Salon Thoughts.

Hello, friends! Happy Wednesday to you all!

So, last Saturday I went to the salon to get my hair done, and I had a few thoughts that I thought I would blog about, so here we are! Salon thoughts!

As I waited for my hair to process, I couldn’t help but notice how put-together everyone seemed to look. And not just the hairdressers, but the clients as well. It seemed like everyone had long, acrylic nails, freshly painted toenails, eyelash extensions, and flawless spray tans. And boy, did I feel lacking.

My fingernails were nubs, my nail polish was chipped, the corner of my eyes had eyelashes missing from when I subconsciously picked at my mascara, and I still had my winter skin. And at that moment, getting my hair done didn’t seem enough. I was tempted to ask about hair extensions, acrylic nails, eyebrow waxing, eyelash extensions, and on and on and on. Make me pretty like those other girls!

Ah, comparison.

I suppose with this thought, I just wanted to say that it’s okay to not have all these extra things. There is, of course, nothing wrong with indulging in things that make you feel beautiful, but one can be beautiful without them. Many people were considered beautiful before these things were normalized, and people can still be beautiful without them now.

These additions to one’s appearance have become so normalized that people feel as though they NEED to have them. This is, of course, not the case. There will always be new things that come out to help us “improve” ourselves, and if we get too caught up in all of it, we’ll never be satisfied. And just as we’ll never be happy if we try to keep up with all of these trends, we also will never be happy if we continuously compare ourselves to those who are seemingly perfect.

In my day-to-day life I’m able to go about my day not thinking too much about appearance, but gosh, the salon just brings it out! Not to mention how hideous one feels when they are wearing the black cape that makes your neck look much different than it normally does.

My second thought was about how nice it feels to do something for yourself to add a little extra glamour to your life. I talk about adding glamorous aspects to our lives a lot, but only because I think it is a very overlooked area of life. As hard as it is fighting with ourselves desiring to be pretty, I find that instead, it’s best if I focus on feeling glamorous.

I like to pursue feeling glamorous  instead of beautiful because it puts my focus on more obtainable things. Glamour is unique to us all, it’s what makes us feel vivacious and confident in our own skin.

For me, glamour is more than just our appearance. Glamour is something that makes someone seem appealing, which is often much, much more than appearance. When I think of what makes me feel my most glamorous, it’s when I’m clean, polished, and happy. Glamorous people are kind, and make everyone feel special. They don’t need expensive add-ons to be this way, they just exude it. Their confidence comes from many different things, but it is not all skin-deep. Which isn’t to say that I don’t think someone who enjoys a more luxe lifestyle can’t be glamorous as well. I just think that glamour is a fifty/fifty thing.

It’s okay to have certain physical things give us a bit more confidence. I feel at my best when I’m nicely dressed, my hair is clean, and I’ve been kind to those around me. None of us are perfect, and sometimes we’re not as nice as we could be. I’ll make the leap and say it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing the most expensive clothes and are dressed to the nines, if you have been acting less than kind, you’re going to feel gross and not at all confident.

And for my second thought, which may seem slightly contradictory to my first one… is how important it is to do nice little things for ourself like going to the hair salon.

It can be quite expensive to get your hair done often, but treating yourself to some extra care doesn’t have to be going to the salon. It could be plucking your eyebrows, painting your toenails, or even giving the skin a nice exfoliation. It can be something so small where others may not notice it, but it could be just enough to give you a little pep in your step.

I know that it’s so hard to find time and energy to spend on our appearance when we live such busy lives, but I think that it’s SO important. I know that the more care I put into my appearance, the more me I feel.

I suppose my overall takeaway for this post is that it’s important to take care of our body and to do things that make us feel confident, but that doesn’t mean we have to do ALL the things. We’re allowed to pick and choose the things we want to do, and figure out what works for us. Maybe we don’t dye our hair, we instead prefer to get our nails done, or some may want to do both. And some people may not want to do any of them! And that’s okay, too! If that is the case, find something else you can do to add some extra glamour and shimmer to your life. Maybe a nice smelling lotion, or even a new shampoo. Just something little (or big) that you can add to your life to make it feel a bit more exciting and extravagant.

I really hope that y’all understand what I’m trying to say! I understand that I have a tendency to be all over the place when I write these posts. I blame it on the fact my brain has a lot of thoughts and I’m too slow of a typer to properly articulate all of them. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

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A Journey into Self-Love

Allowing Ourselves to be Three-Dimensional.

Hello, friends! Happy Wednesday! I am extra excited for this week to be done because I have a hair appointment on Saturday! EEP! I haven’t gotten it done since November! I am SO excited to get my roots done to continue my quest to look like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, aka my blonde inspiration. 😉

Today’s blog has been something I’ve been thinking of a lot lately, especially since getting more serious about my blog. Although this topic still applies to those who don’t blog, of course. I think it’s something that most people will be able to relate to.

How often are we expected, on the first day of class, to say our name and list three fun facts about ourselves? These icebreakers always caused me great turmoil. What should I say? What will others say? Will they like me? Would they like me better if I talked about my other interests?

We are all three-dimensional people with many interests and opinions. I think it’s quite common for us to try to find a niche for ourselves and then become disheartened when we don’t completely fit in. I think it’s a pretty common desire for humans to want to belong  somewhere, but gosh is it hard. As three-dimensional people, we have interests and hobbies that may seem to not go together.

We cannot be defined so easily.

Being three-dimensional is hard enough in real life, but on the internet, I find it to be even more difficult.

My interests change day to day, and I want to be able to focus on all of them! I think that when we are interested in becoming a blogger, it’s difficult because we are on the search for our niche.

99.9% of the articles I’ve read giving blogging advice say to only blog about something very specific, say cooking, fashion, or simple living. They say that if one tries to cover too many topics, their readers will lose interest, as every post may not apply to them.

I will, respectfully disagree with this nugget of advice. As writers, we are not only interested in one topic. We need to give our readers the same faith that they are three-dimensional as well, capable of having many interests.  It is possible for people to have more than one interest.

I know that I do.

I like writing about my experiences, advice, slow living, cooking, fashion, and my faith. And in the future, there will probably be even more that I want to write about. I hate the idea of only showing one side of myself on my blog. I don’t think that it would be very honest of me to do that.

It’s hard trying to determine what sort of blog style you fit under, I haven’t been able to find one that I feel fits perfect. I like the term lifestyle blog because it is so vague, which allows me to still blog about everything I’d like to.

Some bloggers come from business and marketing backgrounds, which allows them to be able to market themselves effectively. I, however, come from no such background and am naive to the world of marketing.

There are so many lovely online personalities that I follow that talk about their worry of branching out to different topics, because they think their audience won’t respond well to it. It makes me so sad. We shouldn’t have to shove ourselves into a niche just so that people will consume our content.

It’s hard enough being ourselves in person, why add another area to our life where we try and make ourself into something/someone that we’re not?

And I personally don’t see why people advise bloggers to only write about very specific topics. When I find a blogger, I enjoy if they talk about many different things. That way you can relate to them on a different level. Hey, I like cooking AND sewing, too! 

We can like things that may seem to contradict each other. Maybe we like scary movies but we also like Disney cartoons. Perhaps we like wearing beautiful floral dresses AND a black pair of jeans with Doc Martens. There’s no reason we can only like one or the other. If that’s the case, why do we feel the need to portray only one? I don’t know!

I can’t tell you how many times someone would ask me, “Oh, what’s your favorite movie?” and my brain would scramble to find something that people would think was cool, because they expected something indie or obscure. The truth to this question? Legally Blonde and The Sound of Music. Why did I feel the need to act as if everything I liked was so hipster and cool? Silly Mattie from a few years ago. Silly!

We cannot change what other’s perceive us as. We just have to know that we are more than that. We cannot continue to squeeze ourselves in a niche, just because of what we look like, or something of the like. We are all more complicated than anyone could imagine. And we are allowed to express and pursue all of our interests.

This is why I’m so thankful to all of my lovely readers. You let me write about whatever I feel the need to, and enjoy it all the same! I love that this blog has allowed me to keep in better touch with family and friends that I don’t get to see much. Thankful, always thankful.

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

 

 

A Journey into Self-Love · Uncategorized

5 Ways to Add a Little Bit of Glamour to our Lives.

Hello, friends! I hope that you are having a lovely Friday thus far! It is FINALLY the weekend! This week was seemingly never ending, oh my goodness.

We may not have the time or the money to live quite as glamoursly as we’d like to, but there are many small things we can do to glam up our everyday life. I wanted to write a blog post dedicated to this!

1.Personal Grooming. Its about impossible for me to feel even remotely glamorous if I’m unkept. Some of the things I do in terms of grooming are: showering, shaving, moisturizing, clipping my nails, painting my nails, plucking my eyebrows, and making sure my face is clean and free of leftover makeup.

2. Hair. On a day-to-day basis, I brush my hair and go, but this blog post is not about that, it’s about adding glamour to our lives. So, I will generally put my hair in curlers if I’m feeling extra fancy. It’s great because you can put your curlers in your wet hair, do everything else on your list and when you take them out, BAM, beautiful movie starlet hair.

3. Makeup. Once again, I do not wear makeup every single day. This makes it all the more special when I do. You can add a little extra oomph to your look by adding a some thicker eyeliner, a brighter lipstick, or maybe a glitter eyeshadow.

4. Smelly smells. I recommend some yummy smelling lotion for your moisturizing, but make sure it’s not breaking you out! From someone with very sensitive skin, there’s nothing that feels less glamorous than breaking out or getting rashes from your lotion. Another thing in this category is perfume. I think that perfume is worth a little splurge. I don’t use mine every day, so that when I do, I feel extra glamorous and put together.

5. Clothes. Everybody has different clothing items they feel the most confident in. Heck, even a pair of matching jammies could work. The most important things for clothing would be what makes you feel confident and what makes you feel comfortable. You could be wearing a dress that costs hundreds of dollars, but if it didn’t fit right, you’d still feel uncomfortable in it. You could just as easily feel your best in a dress from Goodwill that cost $5.00. Glamour truly comes from within, but sometimes the physical things help it manifest itself.

Thank you so much for reading, friends! I hope that you enjoyed this post. I know it’s a little different than what I usually post, but I enjoyed writing it all the same! 🙂

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

Musings

Why We Need to Stop Romanticizing Being Perpetually Busy.

Hi, friends! I hope that y’all are doing well. Today’s blog post is a little different, I suppose. I don’t really know where I want to end up with it, but I’ll start here: I don’t think it’s healthy for anybody to be busy all the time. But it’s something that we seem to treat positively, as though it’s admirable or something to strive for. I think it’s admirable, but I don’t think it’s something to strive for. I applaud every hard-worker out there, and respect them endlessly, I just worry about society forcing busyness onto people.

I think that it’s so profoundly sad that we live in a world where we feel the need to always be busy. I know it’s something that I struggle with. I began to make it part of my identity. I would, in a very strange way, brag about always being busy, as if it made me worth more than I would if I was busy a healthy amount. I think we’re too focused on moving forward, moving forward, moving forward. We seldom let ourselves just be.

I feel as though there are going to be some people that disagree with me on this, and that’s okay. I just really feel like I needed to speak my opinion on the matter. We’re only human, we need time to recharge. I used to work and/or go to class every single day, week after week, month after month. I was miserable. I didn’t have any time to charge, but I would still brag about it, in the strangest sort of way. I don’t know why. Maybe I thought people would think I was a better person, somehow? That’s probably what it was. Which still makes no sense.

Sunday’s are supposed to be a day of relaxation and reflection, but how often do they turn into a day where you try to get your whole entire life together? For me, it’s more often than not. I make myself lists, long, long lists, that are absolutely impossible to finish in a day. I’ve been trying so hard not to do this anymore. Lately, I have been making a list of five things per day. Generally, it has one or two schoolwork things that HAVE to get done, a household chore, and then a couple self-care activities. An example would be:

To-Do List

1.Turn in annotated bibliography.

2. Do dishes.

3.Take meds.

4.Take shower.

5.Post blog.

I think it’s important to have some items on the list that are fairly simple, so that you can feel some accomplishment in your day. Before, I was putting so much difficult stuff on my lists that I would go days without being able to check anything off. And let me tell you, it’s not going to motivate you whatsoever.

Finding the balance is so dang hard, and I’m still trying to find a balance in my life. It’s very hard to do, but I suppose it’s something that we all just need to keep working on. We must continue (or start) listening to our bodies and our minds, so that we know what we’re capable of. And it’s extra important to be honest with yourself about this. Whether it be realizing that you need to do more work, or whether it be you realizing you need to do less work. Everyone is different and we need to accept this. The amount we can get done in a day is different. I’ve always been pretty slow and things take me so long to do. I move at a slow pace and therefore get things done at a slower pace. But hey, they’re still getting done, right?

We need to quit worrying so much about what we should be able to do, and instead, focus on what it is that we can do.

Thank you so much for reading, friends. I appreciate the fact that I can send my words out on the internet and they can reach so many people. Much more effective than a message in a bottle. Although not quite as cool, I must admit.

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

A Journey into Self-Love · OOTD

A Casual OOTD Paired with Thoughts on Self-Love.

Hello, friends! Happy Monday! I hope that your week is going well so far and that you had a great weekend! My Monday is off to a great start, I’ve had my morning coffee, I went to Qdoba for lunch with Bobby, and I am wearing a super cute outfit!

It’s only early afternoon, but I’ve been feeling so confident all day. It’s amazing what a cute outfit can do for you! So, I wanted to make an OOTD blog featuring it. And as usual, I had Bobby take the pictures. I stared at the photos while editing, not completely hating them, but not 100% loving them either. I stared at my legs. Bullying myself and asking myself, “Why have you been feeling confident? You look short and chubby in those pants.” But I’ve decided to post these pictures anyway. I like this outfit, I think it’s cute. I feel cute in it, too. Why should I let a couple of pictures change my confidence? Am I exactly where I’d like to be, weight-wise? No. I could definitely be doing more to live a healthy lifestyle. But I am where I am. There’s no reason that I shouldn’t still love myself. I’m worthy of my own love. So, without further ado, here is my OOTD post!

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Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

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Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Jean Jacket: TJ Maxx

T-shirt: TJ Maxx

Pants: TJ Maxx

Shoes: Kohl’s

Thank you so much for reading, friends! I hope that this post inspired you, be it fashion, or be it body-positivity. I also hope that your week is going great so far, and I want to remind  you that self-love is SO important, and that each and every person in the world deserves to love themselves. That includes YOU!

Thank you so much for reading!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

 

Intentions for 2019

Intentions for 2019

Hi, y’all! Can you believe it? It’s 2019! I’ve decided that this year, I want to have an intention for the year as opposed to a long list of resolutions. In 2019 I want to live life the best as I can. With this intention comes the question: how the heck will I accomplish this?

  1. I want to compliment people more often. So often I have something I want to tell someone, say, a stranger I see with the most killer scarf on. Sometimes I muster up the courage to say, “Oh my gosh! I love your scarf!”, but oftentimes I get too nervous and say nothing instead.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much more outgoing, but inside of me is still the very shy girl who was too scared to order ice-cream at Dairy Queen and would make my younger brother do it for me. I also have a terrible habit of isolating myself, especially in the classroom. I see people making friends in classes, something that I’ve never been able to do. That shy girl is still inside of me, worried that they won’t like me. I’m 21 years old and I still feel like a little girl when it comes to socializing. I want to put myself out there! I want to be less scared. With this, I am going to try to compliment at least one person a day, and/or initiating conversation with someone in my class, even if it makes me terribly nervous
  2. I want to get out of my apartment more often. Between work and class, I feel as though I’m never home. However, that is not the case. If I’m not at work or school, then I’m in my tiny apartment with the one lone window. And don’t get me wrong, I love my apartment. My friend Tenley recently helped me organize it, and it looks and feels SO much better. That being said, it is quite small and I do get quite a case of cabin fever sometimes. This can be alleviated by going for a walk or doing some yoga, but once I get in the cabin fever funk, it’s hard to snap out of it. But I work on that. These activities refresh me completely, but my brain gets convinced that they are impossible to accomplish, which is really not true. Get out of the house, Mattie! It’s so good for you!
  3. Stop getting so much happiness from material possessions.  I mean, I get it, stuff is great. And I like stuff. But I’ve been thinking lately about how much happiness we put into receiving things. And how short-lived that happiness is. It’s really quite sad, and also quite detrimental to our mental-health. When Tenley and I purged my apartment of bag after bag of clothes and knick-knacks, I could feel myself getting lighter. And sure, there are a few things I still want to acquire for my wardrobe and my apartment, but I am trying my hardest not to buy things that are not practical, or things that I don’t absolutely love. If you’re thinking of purchasing something, you need to remember that you will never love something more than when you’re in the store. So often I would buy clothes that I sort of liked because they were cheap, and after that, all they would do is sit in my closet, unworn. I’m trying to get rid of things that I don’t absolutely love or use anymore. I am a big fan of knick knacks, but the fact of the matter is, they get dusty and forgotten about in my apartment. Some I love and will never get rid of, and some, after the initial sting, I was able to get rid of them and feel totally fine about it. If you can get rid of something that easily, perhaps it’s best to get rid of it.
  4. Stay on top of grooming and self-care. I have the hardest time keeping up on all my self-care in the winter, it’s probably because all I want to do is cocoon in bed. Sometimes it makes mustering up the courage to shower a little difficult. But showering is, of course, very important. And once I do it, I feel so refreshed. Same goes for simple things like plucking my eyebrows or painting my fingernails. These are such little things that I can do to make myself feel more put together and as a result, i tend to feel a little bit better and more motivated.
  5. Allow myself to enjoy resting time. I am a person who is generally pretty busy. And I have such a difficult time relaxing. If I’m watching TV, I’m thinking of the million things that I still need to get done, and what I should be doing instead. I don’t think that’s a healthy way to be though. I think that we all need to take time to do nothing and allow that nothing to recharge us. We may be getting things done if we’re constantly in motion, but we’re seriously negeclting ourselves and our own well-being which is way more important.

Hope you guys are having a wonderful 2019 so far! What sort of resolutions/intentions do y’all have the year?

XOXO,

Mattie Mae

A Journey into Self-Love

A Journey into Self-Love

Hi, friends! Happy Saturday! Hope your week was good and that your weekend will be even better! Especially those in college with finals! My finals are next week! EEP!

Today I wanted to talk about self-confidence. Which is something, admittedly, I’ve been struggling with something fierce lately. Unfortunately, I’m sure that many people can relate to this. I think that when people think of self-confidence, they automatically think of one’s perception of their own looks. But it’s really so much more than that.

One issue that I have with self-confidence is the feeling that I am, singlehandedly, the most mean, most evil person in the whole world. Logically, I know that this isn’t the case. This is probably one of the reasons I find it so hard to say no to people. I’m convinced that if I say no to someone that it will ruin their life and in turn, they will think I’m the worst person to exist. Again, logically, I know that this isn’t true. But, alas.

Is there a solution? Well, I’m working on finding one. I’m sure that everyone can relate to this, and I wish that I had a concrete answer, but, as usual, I do not. What I can say is that all we can do is our best. Do our best to show kindness to others, but not at the expense of our own sanity and well-being. Odds are, saying no will not ruin somebody’s life, and it will make you feel much, much, better if you do. Something that I’ve always liked is the idea that we cannot pour from an empty cup. We cannot give to others if we’re not giving to ourselves.

Something that I did for the first time the other day was give myself a positive affirmation while looking at myself in the mirror. I think it’s something that I want to add to my everyday routine. I can definitely see it becoming a helpful thing. My lovely friend Rosie told me about the concept, and I thoroughly suggest it. It’s really simple. You look into the mirror and tell yourself whatever it is that you need to hear. For me, I like to say, “I am a kind person. I am doing my best. I am loved. Not only am I loved, but I am worthy of love.” Of course it can change day-to-day, depending on what you need at that time, but I really think it’s a lovely thing to do.

Remember, friends. We are all doing the best that we can do. And that’s all that we can do. Self-love doesn’t come easily, nor does it come quick. It’s a lifelong process, and we need to be patient with ourselves. We deserve to like and love ourselves.

Thank you for reading!

XOXO,

Mattie Mae